4 Years

Yesterday I hit 4 years since my last alcoholic beverage 🍻.

Sobriety has not been an easy time for me, but the challenges had nothing to do with not drinking. Surprisingly, perhaps aided by the realization that I had no more benders left in me as I crossed the 50 mark in late 2019, not drinking has been one of the easiest aspects of these past few years.

Right as I was celebrating 100 days without a drink, Covid hit all of us with very little warning. Consequences were significant everywhere you looked.

One HR tech start up business I had been passionately working on for a few years died around that time, though we didn't realize it (accept it) for another few months.

A close young friend of the family experienced suicidal ideation about 60 days into Covid and took Maggie and me on a mental health journey for the following two years that I would never wish on any human being. (They are doing well, today, thankfully)

And, of course, there was Boloco - still at 8 restaurants at the time - which found itself on its knees gasping for air mere days into the pandemic shutdowns. Check out this video if you want proof. In what turned into the grind of a lifetime, after countless forgiveness negotiations, PPP loans, saying goodbye to hundreds of long-time team members, I accepted reality, allowing leases to be terminated by landlords or expire at end of leases, bringing us to 3 locations going into 2024. The ride down was a lot harder on nearly every level than the growth from inception to 22 locations between 1997-2013.

That all being said, whether working through successes and failures, happy times or disappointments, sobriety has strengthened my relationships with nearly every person I come into contact with - business and personal - more than any other single thing I’ve ever done. It has helped me find humility when I’ve needed it most. It has allowed me to accept the consequences of decisions I wasn’t proud of in a way I never could have imagined. Perhaps most importantly, sobriety often allows me to often see brightness even on the gloomiest of New England winter days.

And yet, abstinence from alcohol certainly doesn’t guarantee perfection. I still have disappointments that test me daily. Strengthened relationships don’t equal perfect relationships - and sometimes I learn that what I thought was a good friendship or healthy work relationship is not reciprocated by the other person. Things I want or hope I’ve earned don’t just fall in my lap these days because I don’t drink.

What I do know is that I have a chance, not a guarantee, of being a more consistently present husband, dad, son, friend, and colleague because of these past 4 years than ever before. They say that’s all that really matters, or at least matters most. So if not drinking gives me a chance of looking back at the next 30-40 years (if i’m lucky) in the same way I can look back at the past 4, I’m going to keep doing what I’m doing.

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